The Pain of Yesterday

Hello all,

I am officially back. I spent the last few years struggling to find a balance in my life (spoiler- still struggling with it but making it a priority now)

I have been spending some time in retrospect… life becomes this series of small images that play in sequence in your mind. I don’t know how it is for you but for my small human brain the highlights revolve around the mistakes, the struggles, the moments when I hurt the people I care about and love. My memories tend to make me sad and overwhelmed and so I choose to look forward and plan, plan, plan away what will happen in years to come.

It is the beginning of the year so with that comes new goals and aspirations for life. I want to better myself but I have slowly come to realize over the past few weeks that in order to do that I need to start examining my past and I need to experience healing and forgiveness from myself.

A group of my dearest friends and I get together for Bible Study each week and we study a character of God- this past week we looked closely at the idea of forgiveness. I have always been quick to say, “I don’t struggle with a lack of forgiveness.” When it comes to forgiving others this really does seem to be true. Forgiving others is a natural reaction for me. It has always been easy for me to see the good in others and I never feel as though I need to hold shortcomings against them.

My problem however is that for the longest time I did not think about the fact that when I don’t forgive myself it still qualifies as a problem.

I don’t see it as a problem because no one hears my thoughts- they don’t look at me and say, “That’s not okay.” They don’t know and I have convinced myself that it is normal and okay so I just keep on doing it.

I know now that I need to start seeing this as a problem. I want to make this a focus in my current life so that my future can be filled with true joyfulness instead of artificial smiles that make it look like I am doing well.

I want to give my husband, my family, my friends, my future children and my students the chance to have someone in their life who is living in true forgiveness. I aim to be the best version of myself so that I can truly embrace the love and forgiveness that Christ has given me.

When I don’t forgive myself it is as if I am standing there as Christ hangs on the cross and I say to Him, “I see you suffering for me- but this sacrifice is not enough for me to forgive myself for my sins.” When I look at it like this I know that my thinking is flawed and I have lived this lie long enough. It is time for me to do the hard work, to adjust my perceptions and to relearn how to love myself- I want to see myself as God sees me. So here is to my new work out plan.

~Amy Jodell~

 

Snooze Button- A time for rest

In the book these last couple weeks I have been reading and studying the spiritual discipline of Sabbath. I have written on Sabbath several times in my life and yet it is still the area of my life that is so incredibly hard to be consistent on. The issue for me personally is that my number one strength is Achiever… my life is one moment after another of trying to be the best, do the best and show the best effort in all walks of life. Balance of producing and resting is something that never seems to exist for me.

The definition in the book for Sabbath is: God’s gift of repetitive and regular rest. It is given for our delight and communion with God. Time for being in the midst of a life of doing particularly characterizes the sabbath.

The common misconception about Sabbath in my life was that rest meant you had to stay still and spend the day in the Bible. Now there should be time set aside to read the Word, pray and be intentional with God but the idea of rest is different for each and every individual person. I find rest in things like praying volleyball, reading a book, hanging out with loved ones and being outdoors. My Sabbath should be filled with these things BUT the thing I often times forget is that while doing these acts of rest I must also have my heart focused and centered on Christ.

Some of the practices that the book discusses are to not develop to-do lists, to leave difficult conversations for another day and letting go of things that stress you out for a 24 hour period. I write these words and it sounds like such a serene day and yet it is one of the most difficult things to do. We live in a fast paced world. Our culture expects us to be on the go at all times. Our jobs are time consuming and high-pressured and it is completely against the grain of our society to take a day and devote it to rest. However, when you think about it our body, mind and soul are begging us for a break. If you are anything like me- at the end of the day and I sit down on my bed my body simply collapses. I think back and realize that I did not allow myself more than a few moments of rest. I have always packed my time, I have constantly over-booked myself and end up feeling completely exhausted.

God desires for us to rest- as our example He too rested after His work of creation. I feel like this is a lesson that is easy to preach and nearly impossible at times to practice. Even as I studied and contemplated this spiritual discipline I did not invest much in the actual practice of rest. This will be my life long battle for me and when it comes to something like this I know that I really am going to have to devote time to learn this element of my faith. I think one thing that can be incredibly important when you know you realize that you struggle with something- especially if it is something that you feel called to work on ask those people in your life who are not afraid to push you and not except excuses so you can work through the tough times. So for me this week I will be asking for some help from a few people to not just encourage me to rest but to also keep me accountable and to celebrate with me when there are even small steps in the right direction.

Happy resting!

~A.J.~

Treat Yo-self

I am a huge fan of the TV show “Parks and Recreation.” Several characters take part in this ritual of going out one day every so often and they life that day in luxury. They call it, “Treat Yo-self,” and their time is spent doing the things that make them happy and feel fulfilled. We all know the things we need to feel loved and to be content in the moment. For me it is an afternoon reading, a game night with friends or playing competitive sand volleyball. These things genuinely make me happy! On an even deeper level we know that to feel loved we need to feel safe and respected by those around us. When people belittle us or make us question our worth we likely won’t want to place ourselves near those individuals.

This week I looked at the idea of the Golden Rule- this idea of doing to others as you would want others to do to you. Growing up this sentence sounded like a maze of repeated words. We here this phrase many times as children and as adults we like to spew these words out to those little ones around us to help them see that they need to play nice.

Matthew 7:12 states: “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”

Most people have heard this verse or a version of it at sometimes in their lives. So much so I think we don’t study its true meaning. We don’t necessarily think about how it looks for us to truly live this out. Instead we often times say things like, “I would never do that to someone so they shouldn’t do it to me.” We tend to live our lives on the defense and we rarely consider the thought that we ourselves are not seeing the point of proverbs such as these. As a newlywed I find myself thinking of ways I want to be treated by my husband. He does sweet things like brings me flowers, suffers through the shows I love to watch (most of which are shows he has no desire to watch) and he will even do the dishes so I can work on school activities. But even as he willingly sacrifices for me I allow my mind to say things like, “I wish he would do this,” or “Why can’t he do this the way I like it to be done?” We are innately selfish beings and we spend a majority of our time thinking of how the world and those in it can lend themselves to make our lives easier.

But this verse implores us to think about all these things we want and desire from others and instead spend our time giving out this kind of love and care. It says the words IN EVERYTHING, it doesn’t say on the weekends, when it is convenient or only when others are kind to us. It clearly states in everything, in every moment and through every action we must think of the kindest and gentlest ways of love and we must extend that to others. And notice it doesn’t say we must do this with just our friends and family- no, this is meant for everyone included acquaintances and even enemies. Christ walked through this world and His unconditional love and selflessness touched the lives of everyone. He did not walk through his life taking part in snap judgements, cold glances or harsh words. He knew the hearts of those around Him and yet He still loved in the midst of our flaws and we are called to do the same thing.

The golden rule seems like a fun little reminder to tell children who may not be playing the right way with others but it needs to be a prevalent part of our lives even as adults. We need to see this command as important in living out what we called to do. I for one have realized that I busy myself with thinking about what others should be doing for me instead of considering how I can take what I know to be loving actions and present them in to others in order to follow the example of Christ who I strive to model my life after.

This seems like an entry that is a lot of common sense and the topic is one that most everyone has thought about before in their lives but I hope that somehow this has helped you to look at it in a different way or maybe just bring a little focus on this discipline in your life- I know that for me as I studied this trait this week it has really helped me to refocus my mind and actions when it comes to how I treat others.

Happy Sunday to you all,

~A.J.~

What it Means to Partake

I cracked open my spiritual disciplines book and looked forward to see the area that I would be studying this week. I have to say I was a little disappointed. The words “Holy Communion” highlighted the top of the page and I felt like I was 10 again walking up to the front of the church, reciting a prayer and eating a little cracker and some juice which only made me realize how hungry I was. I have grown up in the church- as most of you know or have read from past entries my dad was a pastor and most of my childhood was spent at church or at home completely surrounded by solid christian adults. Communion has always been a little bit of a struggle for me because I wanted to make it this profound spiritual experience but I mostly took for granted the significance of the action I was partaking in.

As I read this chapter in the book a few things were revealed to me that allowed me to see communion in a new light. It discussed that this practice was first introduced by Jesus just hours before His death. I started thinking about the importance of the things are down and said by a person before their death. My Grandma Hazel was on hospice at the end of her life and so we got to spend her last days, hours and moments with her. She had moved in with my family when I was 6 and I had never really known a life without her near me. We had an exceptionally close relationship- this was a woman who loved people so well that they never had to question if they were important to her. She was warm and inviting- creative and feisty when the moment called for it. One of the most amazing circumstances that I ever got to witness was a couple of days before my grandmother passed away. My grandma has gone through life never really having the chance to know one of her sons, bizarre happenings caused 4 of her children to grow up with a relative of their father. Though there were attempts to connect with her son nothing ever really seemed to happen and they both walked through life without the relationship that most mothers and sons have. In her last days God intervened in the most gracious ways and her son called her on the phone as she lay on her bed, close to breathing her last breath and hearing this man call her “Mom” for the first time and telling her that he loved her was the most emotion moment in my life. We all stood their weeping and praising God that He would allow Grandma Hazel this closure. It was after this happened that she began to lose the energy to move or talk and her breathing began to slow. This act of mercy allowed her to feel that her journey here on earth was coming to an end and it gave her the chance to forgive herself for something that weighed heavily upon her heart for a majority of her life. This is just an example of the significance and importance of ending things well. Christ chose to spend some of His last moment in community with His followers and blessing them with an “outward or visible sign of an inward and invisible reality,” according to the book.

In our relationships we want to have a deeper and closer understanding of one another and Christ was showing us a way to experience Him on an even deeper level. The idea of remembering Christ’s sacrifice really does two things it makes us realize that our sin caused us to take part in His unjustified murder. After some prayer and meditation on communion this week I have come to see this as the reason why we partake in the “body,” which would be the bread. He was put to physical death and we all take in the responsibility of that.

However, He also offers up and allows us to drink the wine which is His blood, “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many.” Mark 14:24 This is the grace side of communion where we are also welcomed to be forgiven and covered by the pureness and ultimate love of Christ. I have never really looked at it in this way before but after devoting some time to look at it a little closer it has given me this vision. We are guilty for the death but are saved because of the resurrection.

The book also has a portion that talks about the God-given fruit that comes from this action and it discussed that this outward expression of our choice to follow Christ allows us to have nourishment for the journey. Having recently been married I have made a lot of connections between faith and marriage. I think about how we had so many guests attend- family and friends took part in this amazing transition in our lives as we declared that we are forever committing our lives to one another. The thing is we could have just lived in relationship for the rest of our lives not allowing anyone to take part in the triumphs and troubles that occur along the way but there is so little joy in that. Christ wanted to give the opportunity to share our faith and committed with others so we can rejoice with one another and be held accountable.

Holy Communion became just a ritual in my life even as a young child but by stepping back, studying, praying and seeking God I feel as though He has given it new light and meaning. I hope some of these words have struck a cord for you in your walk or simply just affirmed some of your thoughts on the act of communion.

During worship this morning we sang the song, “Jesus Paid it All” and there were several lines that caused me to once again think about the sacrifice that Christ has made for us.

“And when before the throne
I stand in Him complete,
Jesus died my soul to save,
my lips shall still repeat”

“O Praise the one who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the dead”

“Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow”

We owe Him our everything and it is important to take the time and remember this gift that He has given us and we must also express it outwardly that He has changed our very being through His selfless sacrifice.

I pray you have a blessed week!

Happy Sunday,

Amy Jo

A Lesson in Self-Discipline

As I have started getting “older” I have realized some vital things- one it is a lot harder to stay physically fit. This is something I have always prided myself on and playing sports consistently throughout my life gave me the perfect platform to keep me in shape. Two, time flies… I don’t know what happened between high school and college and now the “real world” but time has seemed to go at 10 times the speed that it did when I was in high school. I think back and those 4 years felt like a lifetime and now I blink and months seems to have passed without me even realizing it. Prioritizing has become this ominous task because there is so much to be done and so little time to do it in. The things I have placed lower on the list as of late have been:

1. Spending quality time pursuing my relationship with Christ

2. Making time for myself,using my creative talents and resting

3. Working out and being physically active

These three things don’t necessarily take that much time to do. In fact I could easily fit them into my daily schedule but my issue has become that I don’t like focusing on myself. I would much rather spend my time taking care of everyone and everything else. I exhaust myself working tirelessly to complete the lives of those around me and then I end up feeling completely empty and depressed. My entire life people have told me that when I don’t take care of myself I cannot take care of others well. I thought I listened to the advice given to me but I can see that often times those words of wisdom fell on deaf ears. I know that I am not the only human being that has been running myself ragged. I sat in bed the other night and I was feeling particularly low after a long and tedious day of work, work, work and I found myself being upset with the emptiness that I was feeling- I wanted to shout out to God and ask Him where He was. My mind flashed back into memories of the most fruitful periods of my life and I saw the common link between these times- they were the moments when my passion for Christ defined my words and actions and it brought me joy and energy to use my God-given talents and in turn the things that brought my life were the things I invested in and not only did I benefit from this but all those lives around me always saw the goodness of God.

I have decided once again to return to this practice- it does not happen in a day and I know I will fall short like so many times before but God has graced me with patience and I hope to practice using some with myself. When I was blessed with the opportunity to spend a summer in South Africa I received called “Spiritual Disciplines Handbook,” by Adele Ahlberg Calhoun. This book has broken down disciplines such as Accountability, Community, Hospitality, Rest and Service. I want to spend a week studying, praying and working diligently on a discipline and then I would like to show what I have found in this pursuit. I hope to bring to light the joys and the struggles of what it means to look to God in a time when I have lost sight of Him and in doing so I lost myself. I now want to search and seek Him out once again. I want to learn this lesson in Self-Discipline, something I feel He is calling me to do and I pray that through this process God might use me to be a light to someone lost in darkness.

“Lord, happy is the man you discipline and teach from your law to give him relief from troubled times until a pit is dug for the wicked.” Psalms 94:12-13

I would love for some prayer as I try to build up this skill and prioritize my life to become a healthier and happier version of myself. I want to learn so I can love more completely.

That’s all for now,

Amy Jodell

In God’s Timing

If you were to tell Nick and I a year ago ​that we would be getting married in the summer of 2015 we both would have giggled at the thought.

We met one Sunday when cleaning up after service at Mosaic and quickly discovered that we had a similar sense of humor. As the weeks went on I started noticing more and more qualities in Nick that I admired and I also began to realize he would somehow always end up sitting next to me at lunch on Sunday afternoons (later to find out that he worked very hard to maneuver himself to have the seat next to mine!)

We continued to grow our friendship and I found it easy to talk to Nick and trust him- something I had become leery of with new people. He allowed himself to be vulnerable which in turn gave me the ability open up to him. Our friendship quickly grew and because he is such a gentleman he asked me out to coffee so he could inform me of his intentions.

Now in todays society it is rare that you find a man who is brave enough to tell you how he feels so early on in a relationship but Nick is one of these men. We sat down, discussed life- past, present and future and then with sweaty palms and a nervous tone he expressed his interest in pursuing a relationship… with one catch. Protege, Nick had committed to taking a year away from dating while he pursued his relationship with Christ as he was being discipled in an amazing program being ran at our church.

We left the coffee shop knowing that we would continue to grow our friendship as we gave the potential of a relationship to Christ. Our relationship had an ease to it that allowed it to grow naturally and without expectations.

Protege ended on June 21st and our first date was on June 26th. We of course went out for Pizza, his favorite and we walked around the Haymarket talking and enjoying each others company. We laughed, talked and I believe I might even have cried when talking about my life (typical!) but at the end of that night I think we both knew that we would be spending the rest of our lives having nights just like this with one another.

Nick and I have pursued our relationship how we will view marriage- we agreed in the beginning that we are in this for the long-haul. We both knew that not every moment was going to be wrapped up in rainbows and sunshine but we discussed and promised to one another we would never give up and never walk away- when you have the attitude that you don’t have the option of quitting then you can make it through anything.

In five short months Nick helped me through my first months of teaching, we experienced our first holidays together, meet one each others families and on November 16th he proposed in front of his family and our church family. Our journey has been a quick one but that saying, “When you know you know…” it has proven to be true in our case.

I love Nick for his compassion, his humor, his work ethic and of course his beard. I admire him for his ability to love people and his passion when pursuing his faith. I understand his character when I watch the way his family interacts and I respect the strong connection his family has. I enjoy the way we laugh at almost everything, the way he pursues me as his future wife and the fact that we have differences. We have created a balance- when two lives mold into one it can be a complicated process but when you get to walk through this journey with your best friend it makes it all the more worth while.

Looking ahead I know that the title of Mrs. Nicholas Pinegar means patience, uncompromising love and even moments of struggle but the idea that I get to marry this man that brings me so much life and joy- is one I could not be more excited about. I cannot wait to start our marriage. I know as we pursue Christ and one another we will grow into the best versions of ourselves!

~Amy~

~In it. Not of it~

I have spent my entire life in the church. In fact my mom went into labor while at a church event… don’t worry we made it to the hospital on time for me to greet the world! The fact that when I was young I shared most of my time between home and church being that I was homeschooled and the daughter of a pastor made the idea of being a part of the world around me somewhat foreign. For most of my childhood I was completely unaware that anything existed outside the walls of my home and church. I lived in a bubble- it was safe and untouched by many of the pains that come about from the hurting world that we live in.

Eventually, however, I made my way out the front door and into the “real world” as many refer to it as. I was in an awkward stage of not knowing much about the new world I was now a part of but I so desperately longed to be accepted by it and its citizens. I remember countless times when I laughed along with things I had no clue about- all the while hoping no one would call my bluff. Asking friends in secret what certain things meant they were terms that sounded like a foreign tongue to me. I had no idea of about 80% of the things going on and being said around me and to this day I remember feeling absolutely alienated- I felt like I was constantly going behind my parents backs and not feeling accepted by my new found friends.

Flash forward to the place I am now- I look at that time of my life and the overwhelming feelings of frustration and estrangement. I didn’t feel as though i belonged anywhere. This is a feeling that I am sure everyone out there has felt. I believe that because we were created to be with God we cannot get to the place of contentment that we consistently long for every day of our earthly existence. Moments of transition tend to blindside us and rock our foundation that we thought was so unmovable- and yet questions begin to arise and we begin to doubt.

I went to the movie Fury yesterday and it gave me an incredible perspective on the ideas of realistic faith in this world that is harsh and often times inhuman. The idea of loving others in such a profound way that they can respect your beliefs and live in constant community with you while feeling condemned by their morals and persistence in seeking Christ. There is this incredibly fine balance on which we Christians aim to walk on-

“I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be sanctified in truth.” John 17:14-19

When I was in that stage of my life when I did not fully belong to the “safe” world that existed in my home and the “broken” world that I witnessed outside my front door. I somehow felt this idea of being in the world but not of it and it made me feel unloved- but this was because I was seeking love from all the wrong places. Perspective and balance… these two words hold a lot of weight when it comes to being in the world and not of it. Look at Christ as our example, He spent His time with what religious people of that day would have called, “unclean.” And yet while He felt their pain and discussed life with them He never allowed Himself to become a part of their lifestyle. He met them where they were at and He stayed true to Himself. If you see the movie Fury you will find a similar life being lived out by the character aptly nicknamed, “Bible.” Anyone who knows me knows that Shia LaBeough is one of my all time favorite actors so I may seem a little biased by saying this role is one that left me with my mind blown and my mouth unable to speak BUT the character gets into your mind and heart and makes you understand that a balance of heaven and earth is able to be lived out as we walk through even the toughest of times.

We are called and challenged to live a life in constant pursuit of Christ- we are asked to separate ourselves BUT we are not told to cut ourselves off from those who are lost in this broken and hurting world. I think sometimes we forget that we have an amazing ability to see how Christ acting and to pull from His examples of love from the Word- we feel like we don’t have someone to guide us when we feel lost in this specific area of life but He shows us time and time again in the Bible how to go about living out our days on earth.

I hope this gets you thinking about this concept that so often times gets us frustrated- like I was at the age of 13 thrown into the middle of two very different worlds. But if you are able to go to the source and pursue His example through word and action I believe we can learn to find the balance and to hold to the right perspective on what we are called to do with our time here.

That’s all for now-

~A.J.~

Without Whining or Complaining

The last three months or so have been ones of transition in my life. I have to admit I have not met every moment with grace and a positive attitude. Instead I often found myself getting caught up in the anxiety that often comes with the unknown. I allowed my human nature to take over instead of relying on Christ. I don’t know about you but I have this tendency to think that I can somehow do things better on my own than allowing God to have control over my life. Worry is one of those things that seems to take ahold of my life more often than I would like to admit. 

What do you get when you cross a control freak with an anxious mess? You get somehow who doesn’t sleep well. I have sat awake countless nights trying to make my plans come true… in my timing. I have lived a lot of my life trying to “make” things happen. I say this and laugh at myself because this is such an irrational way to think. Hard-work, persistence, dedication– all these things help your dreams become a reality but there are almost always things that come into your life that hinder your dreams or shift your desires altogether. 

My life has been one of unquestioning dedication to following the rules and applying unrealistic expectations on myself. I am flawed, trust me I don’t claim to be a saint… I just tried so hard to convey this image of being close to perfect. I thought that is what people expected of me. But guess what? People don’t want perfect. Perfect is distant, untouchable, unrelatable… As a child however, I thought perfection meant never letting anyone down. Like most people out there I aim to please others- I hope that I can somehow make my loved ones happy. When I fell short- I was ruthless, my lack of forgiveness began and ended with myself. 

I wanted to be critiqued– never complimented 

I deserved to be scolded– instead of soothed 

I wanted to be hurt– and I rejected healing 

We are so hard on ourselves, I know I can’t be the only one. We walk through our lives with our false positivity. Feeling as though letting others in on our painful secrets somehow makes us less human. Incredible isn’t it? How the devil keeps us trapped in our own little prisons that we create for ourselves. We sit behind mental bars that we place around ourselves. I find it so easy to wallow in my own self-pity. “Why don’t people see how deeply I hurt?” I ask myself… when I should realize that people can’t help the silent pain. Am I not the one hiding it from them? 

Sometimes I feel like I start rambling on… talking in circles. If you are somehow still following my train of thought (if you are- kudos to you) my purpose of this post is to let out this crazy idea that has been bouncing around in my mind. It’s simple… STOP! Stop believing that perfection is obtainable… There was one perfect being and His name was Jesus and sorry to break it to you all (mostly talking to myself here) we aren’t Him! I have wasted so much time worrying instead of being grateful. 

Yes, believe it or not my goal of this post was to highlight the concept of gratitude. I somehow managed to talk about anxiety for a larger portion of this entry but it is really about the ending right? 

So here it goes. Take each moment- the good the bad the ugly and chose to be grateful of the amazing blessings that have been put in our lives. I thought I knew what I wanted out of life for so long. But as I pursued my own immediate happiness I just ended up feeling empty and hurt. It was in the moment that I let go of my own selfish desires that God threw a curve ball. It was like those V8 commercials when the baby bops the parent in the head. You know that DUHHHHHH moment? It was when I discovered that I can be thankful even in the most difficult times that God showed me that He has blessed me and He has a greater plan than I could ever have for myself. 

Today I chose to be grateful. When I was tired, when I was cranky, when things didn’t go my way, when my coworker made me laugh, when the interpreter shared heartbreaking stories of their life in a refugee camp… all of it- I chose to thank God instead of taking a swim in my self-pity. And guess what? 

Smiling because God is good is a lot better than smiling because I am trying to hide my pain! 

Just try it on for size for a day and see how it fits you! 

Have a good night! 

A.J. 

Time to Heal

These last several months have been ones of transition. As life settles down I begin to process all that I have been through and the realization that when it comes to dealing with change and pain and growth we all have our own unique way of coping. Our timing is different, the way we deal with our emotions, the pieces that we allow outsiders to help put back together- it all happens in its own way for each of us. Looking at the creativity used in our design is astonishing. God made me with a special purpose, one that is different then the person driving next to me on the street. With this special purpose comes a special way of handling situations that life throws at us. It can be extremely difficult for us to understand how someone else deals with the trials in their life- at points it can frustrate us because they are not dealing with it in our time frame or in the manner that we would approach the problem with. 

However, there is beauty in the way pain causes us to morph into a different version of ourselves and it is even more beautiful how God allows our uniqueness to deal with it in a way that is specific to our personality. The things we go through as we walk along in this lifetime are things that God wants to hold our hands through… He has given us the skills to deal with it as long as we are relying on Him and His wisdom. The struggle seems to come, I believe, when we true to rush the process. This world has a way of training us to expect instantaneous results. A society of instant coffee, instant T.V., instant answers to complex questions. But instant often times equates to cheap quality. When it comes to experiencing heartache- undergoing change- encountering new surroundings I think we need to start taking time to take it in, to breathe, to think, to react and to rely on Christ in order to move forward in the healthiest of ways. 

Taking time to look at a situation from someone else’s point of view- it may be that all they need is a hug, a smile, a word of encouragement and some patience. If you are willing to walk along them as they process and assess the situation then they will feel free to cope on their own time. Sometimes we don’t need advice, or questions or potential outcomes… sometimes all we need is someone to be patient with us. I know that for me God has me on a crazy journey and I am so excited to see where He will take me but at times I feel as though I have to rush through everything I am transitioning through because “time” is too precious to waste. I realize at this moment that I am not wasting time, instead I am utilizing it in the best way that I can. Some moments are a struggle but God is here and He has a plan and I trust in Him and His timing. 

Inhale… 

Exhale… 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

~Jeremiah 29:11~ 

I feel as though I may be rambling tonight so hopefully this makes some sense. 

Goodnight, 

A.J. 

Joy to the World

Joy, this is a small word that packs a punch! I believe that joy is more than just conveying a positive attitude. It is a lifestyle that means putting others first all the time. I see joy as being somewhat of a sacrifice that ultimately leaves you being the winner. Webster’s dictionary defines joy as: “the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.” When you look at this, as a believer, you recognize we have the greatest reason to be delightful because something exceptionally good has occurred in our lives. We have accepted the fact that Christ sacrificed His life so that we can be with Him eternally. This definition is a little convicting. The reason why is because I walk around like Eeyore with a cloud hanging over me, throwing myself a pity party when instead I have the most amazing story of grace and forgiveness present in my life. In fact I believe Christians should be the most joyful people on earth because of our incredible circumstance of coming to know Christ.

Sadly, we all know that even when we have denied ourselves and come to being defined as a follower of Christ we are still human… this fact will cause us to fall into sinful habits, to stop and cast judgement, and we are not exempt from the pain this world burdens us with. The hardest thing is learning how to live out joy when all we want to do is lock ourselves in our rooms and throw ourselves a pity party. Joy is an area of my life that I have been extremely lacking in as of late. 

Joy is not merely a smile that is planted on your face- it comes from the soul- it causes you to rejoice and press on even in the toughest of trials. God allows us the chance to be joyful in Him even when things don’t go our way. What an amazing way to show Him that we understand and believe this life is not forever but that our relationship with Him will always remain. Lately, I have fallen captive to the burden of stress… in every area of my life I have allowed stress to take over when instead I should be joyful because my Creator loves me and is ever-present in my life. I have turned my back in most every moment when He extends grace and I end up saying, “Don’t worry about me God, I can do this on my own.” I have to admit… I am pretty stubborn. 

Here is the deal- I have decided that I am going to be joyful. Even in the midst of all the unsettled feelings I am experience I am making the choice to be joyful. I have every reason in the world to show those around me that I am loved by God, I am forgiven because of His sacrifice and I am eternally His child! Bringing my thoughts back to these facts allows me to press on through the mundane parts of my day and instead of being a victim of this world’s junk I can be a light of joy and happiness to the dark places around me. I am blessed to have the opportunity to impact students every day and this is the best place to start- I hope to show them and instill in them that being joyful is something you can choose- even when it is difficult to do so! 🙂 

James 1:2-3

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

 

Have a joyful day! 

A.J.